 Mandela's Epiphany The most powerful moments in life can come from experiencing the powerful acts of others: the lessons they share with so many. Nelson Mandela--really no words can do justice for this man's life. A life force himself, but Kadir Nelson's cover of this week's New Yorker evokes the spirit of Madiba in as much as an illustration can. Nelson Mandela knew well that you have to seize freedom for it is not a given for some of us. He knew better that if you don't make decisions they will be made for you. But his example of dignified resistance needs to live on if there is to be any hope for the future... We can't afford for his legacy to simply be eulogized, commodified and forgotten in the pages of history books as merely rhetoric. This "template" of the ultimate peacemaker and freedom fighter is ours to embrace, but also to perpetuate for future generations to have real access to equality. May we access his greatest epiphany in our dreams for that future. Bread-winning Mothers, Stay-Home Fathers?The notion of fathers staying at home with the kids while mom is the bread winner is a real gender-bender for this generation of parents. While this arrangement can have some appeal, when it really works between loving parents cooperating for the sake of raising healthy well adjusted kids, the backlash is found in the court rooms of those less successful experiments... SOME THINGS TO CONSIDER...posted Oct 25, 2013, 6:50 PM by An Tropia [ updated Oct 25, 2013, 8:18 PM ]
THE BEAUTY IN LIFEposted Oct 13, 2013, 7:25 PM by Deanna L. [ updated Oct 13, 2013, 7:55 PM ]
Untitled Postposted Oct 11, 2013, 1:01 PM by Deanna L.
CELEBRATIN THE ANCESTORSposted Oct 8, 2013, 7:18 PM by Deanna L. [ updated Oct 11, 2013, 1:02 PM ]
Some Things to Considerposted May 16, 2012, 12:43 AM by Deanna L. [ updated Oct 8, 2013, 8:31 PM ]
Upper Playground Veteran http://samflores-12grain.blogspot.com/ His style is a gorgeous morphed dreamscape that conjures romantic images of Japanese scrolls and fierce el train graffiti. Sam Flores is a most prolific artist of transcendental quality who easily wins loyalty with every turned out canvas and mural. https://www.google.com/search?q=sam+flores+artist&hl=en&client=firefox-a&hs=GAj&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&prmd=imvnso&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=YJYNUMTdNtPNqAHChJzBCg&ved=0CFgQsAQ&biw=1024&bih=510 Under the Baobab The upside wonder of baobab trees is not unfamiliar, but the color-drenched textile art enraptures both the tree and the viewer staring above at mammoth proportions and entangled branches. What a vivid canvas to behold... http://www.kuriositas.com/2012/06/under-baobab.html **** 'Creative' Process at the Sculptors Guild, NYC In case you have an appetite for sculptural exploration in the divine world of Art. Check out this upcoming exhibition featuring 15 prominent artists at the Sculptors Guild, NYC http://www.sculptorsguild.org/home.html July 8, 2012  Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother A Book Review This autobiography is a compelling look into some ideas behind Chinese methods of raising children. How do they differ from Western methods, if at all? Whether or not this cultural style of parenting is more successful seems to be the question the author poses. In 2011 Amy Chua released her rendition of ‘Chinese parenting’ in Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. Told through her determined efforts to raise her two half Jewish daughters in the Chinese tradition, Chua is a renegade. She has a style of parenting that may be viewed as brutal by some and a fine example of cultured discipline by others. The Yale law professor cum non-fiction author gives a running list of approaches that supposedly distinguish Chinese parenting for better or worse. Amy Chua’s formula for Chinese parenting includes all the things her daughters were not allowed to do including: · * Attend sleepovers · * Participate in school plays · * Choose their own extracurricular activities · * Watch TV or play computer games · * Get less than an A in school By some standards Amy Chua can be considered more than a bit fanatical when it comes to her daughters’ musical training—even to her own Chinese parents! But this mother of two will not accept anything less than musical genius from her flourishing prodigy children. Will they grow to resent her for it she questions? The child’s responsibility to the parents, who sacrifice everything for their offspring, is also an overarching theme in this book. Is there too much pressure on the child with this approach? Will a child’s self-esteem suffer if pushed too hard toward achievement? Should childhood be “fun” or focused on future success for their parents’ glory? Should children feel obligated to fulfill their parents’ expectations and hopes for them? Amy Chua is both humorous and ridiculous, but undeniably
steadfast in her goals as a mother. She
is clearly not one to settle for mediocrity in her children, but at what
cost. Chua herself even questions
whether her daughters will resent her later for how hard she drills them. Her book challenges the reader to consider
what limits we set as parents. What aspirations do we have for our children and how committed are we to their success? This book also begs the question of how culturally relative this parenting approach really is. Even if you’re a skeptic, it’s worth a read…Keep in mind it is one perspective.
June 30, 2012 Does Spoiling Children Harm their Growth? A recent article on the internet compelled me to look further into how spoiling children affects their development. The article titled ‘Why parents "spoil" their kids,' referenced Elizabeth Kolbert’s article in the July issue of the New Yorker. In short she believes American kids are ‘spoiled rotten.’ I recalled a conversation with my neighbor explaining how she satiated her 5-year-old daughter’s desire for material things. The mom felt it had become more about the manipulation to acquire things for her child than it was about the actual toy.Is spoiling a global phenomenon?Some experts beg to differ. When comparing American parenting styles there is some agreement in the field of psychology that U.S. children are far more over-indulged by their parents than anywhere else in the world—even when compared with other western nations. However, the definition of spoiling is culturally relative and given American culture is not monolithic we know there are many approaches to parenting in this country. Economic status further impacts the spoiling dynamic where material gains are concerned.What do experts say about spoiling children?Robert J. Mackenzie is creator of the “Setting Limits” program. According to this educational psychologist and family therapist quoted in the above article, spoiling children "decreases their sensitivity and respect for the rights, feelings and boundaries of others. That creates a 'me first' generation that believes 'rules are for other people.'"“If you give kids so much early on, they get to a point where they can’t be satisfied with anything,” says Dan Kindlon PhD, clinical and research psychologist at Harvard University and author of the book titled, “Too Much of a Good Thing: Raising Children of Character in an Indulgent Age.”More reasons not to spoil your child…· Delayed gratification is believed to teach children patience· As they grow older they’re likely to be extremely self-absorbed· They tend to have more anxiety and less self-controlAdvice for parents…· Reflect on whether you over-indulge your child and the outcome· Calmly Give your child clear instructions rather than empty threats· Be consistent with discipline and explain consequences for spoiled behaviorSome websites to check out for advice on reversing spoiled behavior in children:http://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/are-your-children-spoiledhttp://jamaica-gleaner.com/gleaner/20090518/news/news6.htmlJune 27, 2012 “Let’s Move!” Outdoors during Summer In conjunction with Michelle Obama’s “Let’s Move!” campaign, Amazon Pool held a free event on the first day of summer acknowledging the importance of keeping our children active and healthy. This effort is intended to reduce childhood obesity that has reached epidemic figures in the U.S. Now while that event may be so last week, there are a number of affordable to free local events and activities that keep families in shape while bonding and having fun in the summer outdoors. Berry Picking Berry season has arrived and what healthier way to get active than with a belly full of local seasonal berries. The best part is these farms, just a short drive away, allow you and the kids to pick your own berries! Convenient, delicious and children are always charmed by these colorful tasty gems. Green Hill Aire Blueberry Farm located at 28794 Hillaire St. in Eugene has ripe blueberries to pick fresh. Call for details (541) 688-8276. Lone Pine Farms has strawberries for picking now where the family can enjoy the local farm life and nature at its best while picking their own seasonal berries. The farm also has a petting barn and playground, open daily 9 am-7 pm. http://www.lonepinefarms.com/ Bike Trails and Events “Kidical Mass” where families ride their bikes en masse around town, happens in Eugene (and Cottage Grove) on a bi-monthly basis during summer. Check their website for upcoming events. http://www.kidicalmass.org/locations/eugene/ Nature Hikes Eugene parks will open a new kid-friendly hiking trail at Skinner’s Butte in mid-July. There you will find native oaks, wildflowers and sword ferns under a glorious canopy of trees that provide cool shade from the summer heat. And the mecca of playgrounds, RiverPlay Discovery Village, with water features is directly across from the trailhead. Swimming Amazon Pool is celebrating the summer with their annual Family Pool Party August 18th. Get your free tickets at the downtown Eugene Library August 11th. And don’t forget Fern Ridge for lake swimming. If you’re headed to Cottage Grove, Dorena and Cottage Grove Lakes are also great for picnics and cooling down on the hottest days! Feliz Verano! June 24, 2012 Brain Rules for Baby: A Book Review Published in 2010, John Medina covers some crucial considerations for raising children in this technological era in his latest book on parenting. This work examines some of the key elements for raising healthy smart children from birth through five years old. He thoughtfully explores how parents’ well being and balance directly impacts their children. As Medina unveils his suggested “ingredients” for optimal parenting, he also dispels some of the myths around praising children for innate smarts versus consistent effort. His listed ingredients of intelligence give food for thought as we parents prepare our children for their world within and away from home. 1. Exploration. Medina purports that children are mini “scientists” constantly exploring, testing, and experimenting to discover what the world (their laboratory) has to offer. Healthy exploration expands their knowledge. 2. Self-control. Executive function is a reliable predictor for academic success. It is also essential for developing foresight and self-control, problem solving and achieving goals. How do we stimulate this growth as parents? 3. Creativity. Can we predict creative impulse in our child’s future? Creative types have a stronger functional impulsivity and an ability to handle ambiguity. Because of this they score better on test that measure risk-taking in the creative realm. 4. Verbal communication. Medina stresses the importance of early communication with our children to encourage their social and intellectual development. 5. Decoding nonverbal communication. The reading of body language is elemental to gauging our world’s this is especially true for children. Learning sign language is one way to enhance children’s cognitive abilities.
Written with anecdotal humor, Medina’s pretext rests on the basic need for human survival. It’ll make you laugh while offering some noteworthy suggestions for raising well-adjusted critical thinkers. Stay tuned for follow-up articles that more closely explore other important topics in this must have book on early childhood development. How Michelle Obama is Changing Views on Childrens Diets Today I listened to a wonderful interview with Michelle Obama about the importance of a healthy diet for reducing obesity in children. The interview on NPR’s “Talk of the Nation” was a refreshing discussion about how gardening with kids can teach them about the natural process of growing food and improve their eating habits at the same time. For me, that was a major draw to New Dream where I watched as the kids picked strawberries to make fresh juice last week! The First Lady’s Organic Garden As a proponent of organic gardening, Michelle Obama planted the first White House vegetable gardens since Eleanor Roosevelt was First Lady. She also set up beehives on the South Lawn. Gardens
are explorative outdoor classrooms for kids.
They are eager to experiment naturally and dig in the dirt. So imagine
if you could change their outlook on the things they put in their mouths by
teaching them to grow organic fruits and vegetables. “Can you water your garden with soda” Mrs. Obama asks children. Incredulous they all answer, “no.” She points out that we can not expect to grow ourselves with sugary soft drinks either: the perfect teaching moment. When children make that connection, it is golden. Early Childhood Obesity Statistics Like
the First Lady, I remember growing up without all the fast food (that was a
luxury) and a life playing outdoors all day until the “streetlights came
on.” You ate the balanced meal that was
on the table: there were no microwave quickie alternative meals then. Even with
Kool-Aid, the one concession parents made, child obesity also wasn’t the issue
then that it is now. Today obesity has reached epidemic proportions among children in the U.S. where one third of their population are now overweight. Mrs. Obama’s Let’s Move! campaign has just this demographic in mind. She was forced to reconsider her own daughters’ diet some years earlier when their pediatrician raised concerns over their weight… I
planted a garden this year with my daughter as I’ve done since before she was
born. It is a normal part of our routine
to play there: deciding what to plant, sowing seeds, pulling weeds and
meditating together there as I did with my grandparents. At 4 years-old she can identify berries like no child I know. And the joy of watching her gather peas, strawberries and whatever else we get a hunkering to grow is extraordinary. I know exactly what’s going into my child’s mouth—all grown with love. ‘Tis the season, so go plant your food with your kids! Check out Michelle Obama’s Interview on NPR http://www.npr.org/2012/06/12/154854113/first-lady-fights-obesity-with-moves-and-good-food June 13, 2012 Social Decline for Children in the Digital Era While our preschool age children may have a ways to go before texting is part of their lexicon, one anecdote struck me as words of caution for this technological phenomenon. In his book Brain
Rules for Baby, John Medina recalls the tale of a mother and sociologist
when she throws a slumber party for her daughter. When the gaggle of girls got together for
what the mother imagined would be a nocturnal pillow-fighting and girl chatter
extravaganza-- a phone-texting frenzy ensued instead. The amazement of this mother was clear: this technology and new social past time had dwarfed the social skills of these girls who in her time would’ve been whispering secrets throughout the night. Multi-tasking Skills and Technology? While there is still very little research proving the
full impact of texting on children’s behavior one thing is certain: texting is
in some ways replacing regular face-to-face social interaction at an astounding
rate. A friend was once recounted his daughter’s ability to rapidly text with accuracy while holding a conversation at the same time. Perhaps future generations will be better skilled at multi-tasking, as some studies suggest. If you consider that the average child sent and received a whopping 2,272 texts in 2008 alone, one might begin to question how much access youngsters should have to this technology. In fact, 27% of all words accessed by these same children came from contact with computers by 2009. Stunted Social Skills… Since in person social interaction is what helps to develop nonverbal communication skills (body language), this news is very significant and should not be overlooked. The more limited the social interaction the slower the growth of crucial social skills. Texting and computer interaction do not develop these skills in the truly effective manner of old school face-to-face socializing. According to A. Barbara Wheeler, Superintendent of Kent County Public Schools, Maryland, in her article Texting Can Damage Communication Skills:‘While technology has the potential to make life more fulfilling, there is that ever present danger that technology can have an adverse affect on our children. Children today do not spend their leisure time playing dodge ball or skating. They spend hours playing video games, watching TV, surfing the Internet or using cell phones.’ June 4, 2012 Raising
Cain: A Book Review “Newborn boys, on average, are actually more emotionally reactive than girls. For example, studies show that baby boys cry more than bay girls when they are frustrated or upset…Despite those expressive beginnings…as boys get older they express less emotion.” Are there significant differences in emotional and psychological development between boys and girls? Do boys express their feelings as much as girls? Are there disparities in the educational system’s approach to teaching boys and girls? Do parents generally have different ways of disciplining their sons and daughters? If you’re raising boys and have asked yourself any of
these questions then this book is definitely worth exploring. In this compelling research Dan Kindlon and
Michael Thompson lay out some critical, if disturbing, statistics on how
cultural dynamics affect the emotional growth of boys in this country. As leading child psychologists, they offer insights on revealing body language, behaviors and what they refer to as the emotional miseducation is their research. The data reflects a recognized and prevalent macho culture that deters the emotional development of boys. These two well-versed psychologists thoroughly examine societal impact on boys’ emotional growth and expression, albeit apologetically. From home life to school to the professional world, the stark statistics show how downplaying their emotions can be ultimately detrimental. But does this culture deliberately discourage discussion of boys’ feelings for the sake of making them men? Aside from what appears to be a justification of defiant
behavior in some parts, there are some statistics that all parents raising sons
should be aware of. When you read the
figures for diagnosis of ADD and ADHD for boys, the pedaling of pharmaceuticals
and subsequent medication that render them passive, you may be shocked. It is also worth noting how some schools’ approach to the education of boys and girls varies, to the potential disadvantage of our sons. The personal anecdotes from individual and family counseling sessions make this an accessible and thought-provoking read.
May 21, 2012 Without
Spanking or Spoiling: A
Practical Guide to Toddler and Pre-school Guidance, A Book Review Many parents are clear that spanking is not a healthy choice or an option in raising well-adjusted children. Those same parents may also find themselves at their wits end with some their child’s behavior, begging for patience. Fortunately, there are thoughtful methods to regain self-control for both you and your child. While this is not a recent publication, Elizabeth Crary’s guide offers concise exercises for promoting positive behaviors for parents and children that is timeless. Crary, a parent education instructor at North Seattle Community College, has provided an indispensable reference for all who raise children and struggle to keep up with their rapid growth toward independence. She coaches on recognizing what our core values are as parents and how we impart those values to our children, while giving them room to explore other possibilities as well. We’re also called to task in identifying our children’s traits and assets. For example, is your child “easy or difficult?” No parent may want to admit the latter… Some excellent points Elizabeth Crary discusses: Active Listening (with your child): · Avoid repeating yourself · Think before you speak · Set the stage for compliance Increasing Appropriate Behavior (and decreasing inappropriate behavior): · What are positive and negative strokes · Focus Time · Positive reinforcement · How to effectively praise your child Teaching New Behaviors: · How “modeling” encourages desired behavior · “Simple instructions” are most effective · “Shaping” requires developing a plan to teach a new skill Every parent should have a copy of this guide for raising young children at home, for accessible advice on positive parenting tips. Also check out the University of Oregon’s Education Department for some of their latest research on early childhood development: http://education.uoregon.edu/field.htm?id=147 May 16, 2012
Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the New Girlie-Girl Culture A Book Review Do girls innately love the color pink? If so, always been the case. Do girls naturally aspire to being princesses and fairies? If not, where did the urge come from? How are our daughters’ self-images affected, and their future options shaped, by the “princess” phenomenon? Peggy Orenstein does a phenomenal job at researching
parsing the marketing strategies that appeal to “the new girlie-girl
culture.” This New York Times
Bestseller, is well worth the read. In these times of marketing bombardment, we
are constantly sifting through the vast piles of “stuff” pedaled to our
children. Parents are often ethically challenged in deciding what toys really enhance our children's development. But how does marketing target children based on gender and what formula do the toy and fashion industries use to lure youth? Even if you never intend to purchase Disney Princess paraphernalia, Hannah
Montana gear or a pink pistol for your little girl, this book draws such
powerful parallels on how these products are marketed to girls. The author hilariously, if tragically, looks
at how girlie-girl culture infiltrates the home in spite of our best intentions
as thoughtful parents. Orenstein closely examines how advertising moguls have intentionally linked products under a “pinkification” umbrella force-fed to girls, and ultimately their parents. From toy conventions to beauty pageants to, yes, gun shows we see a grim correlation on how girls are pigeon-holed into one demure princess category for the sake of selling products. Looking back to Grimm’s Fairy Tales, Peggy Orenstein
reviews coming-of-age tales for girls that have taken a drastic turn in recent
years. Is the current emphasis on
self-empowerment or low self-esteem leading to subservience? Because as parents we are our children’s initial filter and guide toward positive development, we naturally question how the surge of marketing targeting our kids hinders or promotes their growth on all levels. This book is a must-read on that fantastical journey of raising our toddler to “tween” girls. http://www.newdreamfamily.com/ |
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